They fulfill a definite need in case of an emergency. They help keep us in contact with friends and families. They serve as a diversion and keep us entertained. Yes, no one should be without a cell phone.
Unless, of course, you're some asshole who doesn't know when to hang up and speak to the people who are actually with you. You know the people I mean. You see them at a restaurant talking on the phone while the person they are with sits in silence. They are the people who are texting at the movies instead of enjoying what is on the screen.
And they are all over my store.
These are the people who come to the checkout and refuse to hang up the phone, or, at the very least, stop the conversation. Nope, just continue to be rude. Keep on talking to Sally-Sue Sonofabitch there, because, you know, I am practically invisible and meaningless to you. And, by all means, get offended when I talk louder to try and elicit a response from you.
A woman comes up to the register with three items and a very loud conversation on her phone. Understanding that her conversation is much more important to her than her interaction with me, I begin the checkout process. Being good at what I do, it is over very quickly. The conversation on the phone continues. That's when this begins:
Me: "Your total is $21.57."
Her: (to the phone) "...so I told her...blah, blah, blah,...green curtains...blah, blah, blah,...lady things..."
Me: (a little louder) "Your total is $21.57."
Her: "...she's such a bitch...blah, blah, blah,...those are totally fake...blah, blah, blah..."
Me: (clearing my throat for dramatic effect) "Miss, your total is $21.57."
Her: (to the phone) "...hang on I'm at the checkout." She stops and looks at me blankly
Me: "Your total is $21.57."
Her: "Oh, I didn't want those two things, just this." (she goes back to her phone) "Yeah, I'm at the checkout, the guy totally wasn't paying attention and rung everything up."
Of course it's my fault, I mean, who else would be to blame? Here's an idea, HANG UP! Or, if you don't want to hang up, just tell them to hang on for a minute. Could we just go back to manners for a moment and acknowledge the person with whom we are dealing? I know that there are many people in your life who are much more important than I am, but, please, just give me a little bit of credit that I am worth a few, precious moments of your time. I don't want to have a conversation with you. I just want to complete my transaction and move on with my life. I would, however, like those few moments to be nice.
Let me just take a moment to say that there are plenty of people who stop their conversation appropriately. There are those who understand what manners are. The average person knows when they are about to be rude and they counter act that instance by pausing their conversation to deal with the person in front of them. But this is not about those people. No, it is about the 1% who are self-absorbed assholes. The people that have that speaker thing in their ear and walk around my store talking out loud so that everyone can see they're having a conversation with someone and we weren't invited. Oh, yes, we hear you closing that big business deal in your loudest voice possible. "YOU TELL THEM $2MILLION OR WE WALK!" Wonder what the person on the other end of the line would say if they knew you were picking up a sale priced can of Pringles, big spender? But there are some people that do this not for our edification, but clearly because they just don't have a clue.
A woman is walking around my store, talking to her phone, clearly agitated, when I hear the following:
Her: "I can never find any help here. You think someone would help."
Like a superhero I speed over to her. Her back is still to me when I approach.
Me: "Pardon me miss, do you need some help?"
Her: (still to the phone) "...seriously, there's no one in here to help."
Maybe she didn't hear me. I get into her line of sight.
Me: "Miss, did you need some help finding something?"
She looks me right in the face, holds up one finger and (swear to God) says:
"I'm on the phone. (back to the phone) I'm going to have to go up front and ask."
I'll wait, she'll be back...
