Let's face it, human nature, instinctively, wants us to be correct. There are those who can tough up and take being wrong as a learning experience. There are those who quietly accept that they thought one thing when it was actually another. There are those who embrace being corrected because they truly did not know the correct answer. And then there are those who cling on for dear hope even though they are just plain wrong. They know they're wrong, but they are, in no way, going to admit that defeat. Yes, it's tough to admit when you're wrong. Losing is not something we like to do. But, we all have to learn how.
Unless, you're a customer in my retail establishment.
If that's the case, you can be wrong as fuck about whatever it is you are asking, and even when I try to tell you what the matter of the fact is, you can continue to talk to me like I'm wrong. Not just wrong, like I just teleported onto this world and it is my first day among the humans wrong. Not just like its my first day among the humans wrong, but like its my first day among the humans AND I took my dick out wrong. Not just like I just took my....okay you get the picture. But, seriously, if you don't know something, and you ask for my help, don't correct me like I don't know what I'm saying. Believe me, I am one of those people who has the very strong ability to admit when I don't know something. If you ask me a question and I tell you, "I don't know." It means I DON'T KNOW. Don't try asking the question a bunch of different ways and expect a different answer!
Case in point.
Sporting goods store closed at 6pm. It is now 6:57pm. Phone rings:
Customer: "Hi, what are your hours today?"
Me: "We actually closed at 6 today, sir."
Customer: "You closed at 6?"
Me: "Yes, sir, we closed at 6."
Customer: "I don't understand." Buddy, what's to understand? We closed at 6!
Me: "We closed at 6, sir. Is there something I can help you with?"
Customer: "You closed at 6? What does that mean?" Let me clear the confusion.
Me: "It means at 6 o'clock, we closed."
Customer: "What time is it now?"
Me: "Almost 7."
Customer: "And you're closed?" Now you're starting to get it
Me: "Yes sir, now what can I help you with?"
Customer: "Why are you still there?" No you're not
Me: "Well, sir, we have to clean the store and prepare for the next day's business."
Customer: "So, you're open?"
Me: "No, sir, we're closed."
Customer: "I don't get it." And you probably won't
Continuing to ask the question in a myriad of ways does not change the answer. Some people think that it will. I like to refer to these people as, "stupid people." But, there is another class of people called, "stupider people." These are the folks who don't know that they're wrong. In fact, they don't even know that they are the root cause of the problem. All they know is that they have one thought in mind and you'd better give them the answer they want, because they are not going to accept anything less than that. Doesn't matter to them that what they are saying sounds like a sack of screeching spider monkeys on acid, they just want you to shake your head and tell them that they're right. Or, better yet, that you can fix their problem. Asshole, if you looked in a mirror, you'd see the problem. It's like the fifty year old woman who is wearing yoga pants and a halter top even though her muffin top has become an exploded can of biscuits. I'm all for curvy, but 360 degrees is an arc, not a curve. Hey, sweetheart, cheerleader tryouts were thirty-five years ago! News flash, you didn't make the squad then either!
Woman is returning some ceramic cookware because her eggs stuck to pan and burned. I have to fix her problem.
Her: "Every pan I use burns the eggs."
Me: "Ok, well I have a big selection of non-stick pans."
Her: "I've tried those. Everything still sticks."
Me: "Yes, ma'am, but you still have to use something to help loosen the food."
Her: "What about this stainless stuff? Is that any good?"
Me: "Yes, I actually prefer stainless. However, there is more of a chance that something will stick or burn on stainless steel."
Her: "Well, what about the most expensive stuff? That shouldn't burn, right?"
This conversation went on for about twenty minutes. I explained every piece of cookware that I sell. What was good, what was great, what I had many people return. How to use it, how to care for it, and how to make it work for her. We had it narrowed down to two pans whens he hit me with this question:
Her: "Of these two, which one is going to burn the eggs."
Now, I don't want to get grouped in with the stupid people. I certainly don't want to get grouped in with the stupider people. But, fuck me, there I was. Twenty minutes before it hit me that the real problem with the eggs burning and sticking to the pan:
SHE'S A REALLY BAD COOK!!!!!!!
So, now that I have come to this epiphany, how to break it to her. I don't want her to feel bad. I certainly can't tell her that she sucks at making eggs. I, honestly, can't sell her something high end, because I know she's just going to return it and blame me and be even more upset. What to do, what to do? I came up with this:
Me: "Ma'am, if you were at a car dealership and they present you with the choice of a Cadillac or a Hyundai, and you ask the dealer 'Which of these is going to crash?' The dealer is going to tell you that by themselves, the cars are fine. Whether or not they crash depends strictly on the operator."
Her: "Oh,...."
Her: "Maybe I'll do some online research before I make a purchase."
Glad I could help.....
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