I've worked in all kinds of places. I've sold all kinds of items. I've dealt with all kinds of people. I've heard all kinds of stories. I've made many people happy. I've made even more unhappy. I've been in retail a long time.
I know I complain a lot. A real lot. Hey, that's who I am. But recently, I have begun to realize that I am at the middle point of my life. Halfway to dead, I suppose. It has occurred to me that I have really enjoyed what I do. It has been a long and arduous ride, but I have really enjoyed it. One of the best things about this business is all the people I have met and worked with over the years. Some great, and some not so much. All of them have left a permanent mark on my brain. The multitudes of people I have known cannot be described in words. One was best man at my wedding, one is my best friend, one took too many No-Doze and almost OD'd in my bathroom, and one I had arrested for stealing a Twinkie. Yep, all kinds of people. And I have learned something from each of them.
One of the first jobs I had in this industry was working inside a freezer. Inside. I stocked the product that was in he windows for all the good people to buy. It was cold in there as you can imagine, but I was young and stupid and just needed a job, so I did it and didn't complain. That was the first step in this long walk to where I am today. The guy who taught me all about how to do that job was crazy as a bed bug. Probably from all the freon. He had worked inside the freezer since Christ was nailed to the cross and it had permanently affected his stability. What did I learn from him? Get out of the freezer.
So, I learned how to drive a forklift. This not only gave me mobility, but and extra 75 cents an hour. Plus, I was out of the freezer. I would drop product for other workers to put out, and receive trucks from time to time. It put me in touch with a goof who worked in the seasonal shop, setting up displays for Christmas, Halloween, Summer, you name it. We became life long friends and he would end up being the best man at my wedding. It also brought me some notoriety that I was very good at what I did. I was groomed by my store manager and, eventually, he promoted me to manager of a department. Good guy. Recognizing hard work from a young, over-achiever with a type-A personality. What did I learn from him? That I should have run when I had the chance.
It was at this job that I got my first opportunity to manage people. Up until then, I had only managed processes. Oh, how different those things are! We worked overnight and there was a standing rule that when we needed people for the job, we would interview them at night. Makes sense. If you show up for an interview at 3AM then you will probably show up for the job. I was young and had not learned much about interviewing (my skills have since improved dramatically). This was before I knew how to ask open-ended questions. So, I get this guy who said very little, gave one-word answers of "yes" or "no" and made little eye contact. His application had a huge, eight year gap between jobs, and no references. So, frustrated that I can't get him to answer questions, I decided to be glib.
Me: "You don't say much?"
Him: "Nope."
Me: "You were out of work for quite awhile there..." maybe he'll tell me something here
Him: "Yup." Okay, lets try and be funny.
Me: "You know, I know they say you guys have to have a job when you get out of jail, but do they have to send you all to me?" This should get a chuckle and maybe then he'll start talking.
Him: "Well, my parole officer thought working at night would keep me out of trouble." Oh...not the answer I was expecting.
What did I learn from that guy? Learn how to give an interview.
Maybe I have an axe to grind. The phrase having "an axe to grind" comes to us from Appalachia. The Scots-Irish settlers in that area needed to clear lots of trees so that they could successfully farm. Therefore, you needed an axe sharp enough for the job. It also provided a great weapon. Hence, if you were in a quarrel with Seamus McFerguson, it might end with him going home to sharpen his axe so he can bury it in your skull. Your fear is that he doesn't fly off the handle. To "fly off the handle" is another axe-related phrase. When Seamus raised his axe over his head (as he prepared to brain you) and it wasn't secured properly, the axe head would dislodge leaving him with a stick and providing you with means of escape. Perhaps you and Seamus could bury the hatchet. This phrase comes to us from the figurative or literal practice of putting away the tomahawk at the end of hostilities by Native Americans in the Eastern United States and is an Iroquois custom in general. Weapons were to be buried in time of peace. Knowing lots of Scots-Irish, I think Seamus would rather bury it in your skull. As long as he doesn't go off half-cocked. God A.D.D. is a tough mistress.
Anyway, after that introduction to management, I have been there ever since. I have kicked around to 8 different retailers in my 20 year journey. All of those stops being in management. I have sold millions of different items. I have hired and fired multitudes of people. I have honed my skillset and learned every step of the way, and I am sure the next 20 years will be just as interesting. What have I learned from all this? One simple thing...
My God, I'm old.
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